I admit it. When it comes to ambition, I am a poorly motivated person. If something needs to be done, I do it. That is my motivation. Once done, I move on to the next thing in front of me. I've always been that way. A dying child artist from Siberia needs to come to the USA for medical care. I bring him. A young couple from a far away state runs out of gas 30 miles from their destination. I fill their tank. Cleaning crews fail to show for their 2-hour shifts at the church fiesta. I work as a crew of one for nine hours. The local retreat center needs $50K for a kitchen. I find it. God says, "Bring him to me." I bring the person to God. My boss says, "Here's your 51st program." I accept it and manage it even though my span of control is already stretched razor thin. The vice chair of the national board, hearing my abbreviated overview of my work, says, "I am speechless."
Yes, indeed, that is how I am motivated. Have task -- see task -- do task. And that's the end of it. I don't know why I am that way. I just am.
As I began to write this post, I had to stop. I felt that God had sat beside me and filled all the space around me, in me, above me, below me. There was nothing I could sense but God. At those times, I stop working. Why would I want to do anything else when I have the Presence -- and even sometimes the touch -- of God to enjoy. It is as if God is gracing me with permission to be lazy with Him. Is there anything more enjoyable?
Beyond the tasks, I suppose it is the Presence and the touches that keep me motivated. God clearly knows that. What motives Him to care enough about an unremarkable, unambitious, unmotivated person like me to task and to touch is a puzzle, enigma, riddle that I will not soon solve -- but then I have not been tasked with solving it.